Jokes

found these jokes while surfing net..

First
A duck walks into a bar and asks bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers.

Next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn't serve quackers. Sure enough, the very next day, the duck again walks into the bar and asks for some quackers. The bartender screams at the duck, "If you come in here one more time, I'm going to nail your beak into the wall with a hammer and some nails! "

A few days pass, and then the duck walks into the bar again.The bartender notices the duck and says, "I'm warning you!" The duck replies, "Do you have a hammer?" The bartender replies, "No!" The duck asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender replies, "No!" The duck grins and asks, "Do you have any quackers?"


Second
Things a Mother would never say.
1.How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
2.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
3.don't worry, ur smelly shirt is good for another week.
4.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
5.That outfit isn't sexy enough, unbutton your blouse.
6.Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
7.The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here. 8.Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
9.Can I borrow your new eminem CDs?
10.Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.